


What Exactly is at the Bottom of the Ocean?

by ChaosController



Category: Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: CPR, Drowning, Not suitable for aquaphobiacs, Not suitable for thalassophobiacs, bit of blood, can be read as platonic or romantic, eh, kind of protective roman, oh yeah logan almost drowns, sort of, you can choose - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2018-12-14 08:46:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11779569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaosController/pseuds/ChaosController
Summary: Biggest fears?:-Spiders-Rejection-What exactly is at the bottom of the ocean?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little fic I wrote. Spur of the moment kind of thing. I got tired and thought, hey why not write this thing. Now I have to go back to working on something else. Peace <3

“I wonder what’s at the bottom of the ocean”, was the only thing Thomas had to say to make Roman’s stomach empty. His eyes darted across the room to Logan’s empty spot and his breathing stopped. Please God, no.

 

Logan hammered his clenched fist against the glass above. He didn’t bother looking down into the abyss of water below him, there was no point when it terrified him. He could already picture it; black water dotted with small, glowing fish and underwater life, going down, down, down, never stopping. The water was cold, too cold. He shivered and tried to retain as much body heat as he could. Even though, deep down, he knew he couldn’t die the thought of drowning was too overwhelming, too powerful to make him think of anything else. He gasped the air, drawing it in with quivering lips. He could almost feel his lips bluing and body seizing. 

He pounded his fists against the glass again, one hand dropping and clamping around his chest in an attempt to get more warmth. He felt like screaming as his body and head dipped under the water once more. He flailed, splashing and coughing as he tried to grab onto something, anything for support. A wave crashed over him, pushing him this way and another pushing him that way, filling his lungs with water. He coughed, spluttered and cursed as he tried to grab the slippery glass above, punching it weakly as another wave crashed over him and his body was pushed deep under the water. 

 

“What’s wrong, kiddo?”, Patton asked, looking to his side at Roman, the creative facet’s eyes locked on the spot Logan would usually be. Roman didn’t respond instead his breathing became a little heavier and faster. The other three leaned towards him a bit as he began to mutter under his breath. 

“Come one, you can do it. Push through it”, Roman muttered, not even blinking as he swallowed, biting his lip and chewing the flesh. “Please, push through.”

 

Logan’s mind drifted as water began to fill his lungs. He’d be happy with this. A watery grave, that is. His body protested to the idea, his lungs wanting the sea water out, but his mind spoke harsher, crueler words than his lungs could come up with. No one would miss you. You can’t even die so there’s no point in struggling. 

Then a thought came. A thought that wasn’t his own. A thought that was bright, light and oh, so right. A little thought that could come from no one else. 

‘Don’t give up’, it said and Logan, though the sea water burned his lungs and his muscles almost refused to move, did as it said. He swam up, up, up to the glass and with heavy limbs punched the glass. Then he caught it, the light from below illuminating it. A crack. A crack in the glass and that was all he needed. He landed another punch and heard a small cracking sound. Another punch landed on the glass and another crack was heard. He slammed his fist against the glass for the last time and felt the glass give way, shattering and splintering around his fist. Someone called his name and his vision faded to black.

 

Roman almost cried out for joy when the bloody, glass filled fist emerged from the floor. His joy turned to horror when the fist dropped back and there was a splash from within the floor. The color drained from his face and he raced to the hole, plunging his hand in and ignoring both the cuts from the glass and the cold water below. He felt around and grabbed onto the floating arm, being as careful as he could while pulling Logan’s body out of the water. He heaved in breaths as he tried to pull Logan up, but realized all too late the glass would cut the other facet if he tried. He let Logan’s body drop a little and he pulled his crimson sash off, wrapping it around one hand before hammering his fist into the glass around Logan’s unconscious form. He winced as the glass cut through the sash and into his skin, blood dripping into the water and staining Logan’s tie with red. 

“Oh, god. L-Logan?”, Thomas shaky voice asked and Roman grunted as he finally pulled the other out onto the carpet. The hole was forgotten quickly as Roman collapsed onto his back letting out a little laugh before he glanced over and realized that Logan wasn’t breathing.  
In a second he was beside the facet, leaning down, cheek pressed to the wet fabric of Logan’s black, polo shirt as he tried to find a steady source of breathing from Logan’s mouth. With his hand, he checked for a heartbeat. There was a steady heartbeat, slowing, but steady. His mind was running a thousand miles a second as he tried to remember any and all CPR training he had been given. Chest compressions…how was he supposed to do that again? He cursed himself again at not fully listening to Logan’s lecture on water safety. Why hadn’t he listened? Now, with the risk of Logan falling into a comatose state, he needed something he thought was useless at the time. 

‘Hands, one over the other, press down. Lift hands, press down again. Repeat doing this movement thirty times before tilting the head back and opening the mouth, this will help clear the airway’, Logan’s voice reverberated around his skull and Roman rolled his eyes a little before beginning. He was rusty, undertrained and terrified, but he’d be damned if he didn’t at least try to help the logical facet. He counted out the thirty compressions before he tilted the man’s head back and opened the others mouth. Nothing happened. 

‘If they don’t start breathing again take a breath, hold their nose shut and put your mouths together, breathe out into their mouth, check to see if they start breathing then do another thirty compressions. Repeat’, Logan’s voice cut through and for once Roman was glad to have the nagging in his head. 

He took a breath, pushed his mouth closer to Logan’s…and startled back as the other turned onto his side and coughed up water. 

“Logan!”, Patton said happily, having been frozen with fear for a good part of the time. Logan just coughed, water dripping out of his mouth, eyes burning with tears. His throat and nose hurt, and he was chilled to the bone. Roman smiled a little before he remembered both his and Logan’s wounds. 

“Y-you…you punched through…through the glass”, Roman breathed out, panting for no other reason than the adrenaline rush leaving him. Logan gave him a weak smile before he coughed up a little more water and pulled his arm up onto his chest, swallowing as he surveyed his and Roma’s damaged arms. 

“I did”, Logan said softly. Roman smiled, letting his back hit the floor as he chuckled aimlessly.

“You’re…you’re an idiot”, Roman said in between chuckles, laughing more when Logan’s uninjured arm bumped into his in the process of Logan softly punching his stomach. 

“Am not”, Logan muttered petulantly as Roman was sent into laughter once more. After a short period of time the situation caught up with Logan and he shivered, biting his lip in pain. 

“You okay?”, Roman asked, voice a little scratchy. 

“Do I look okay?”, Logan asked back, sarcasm heavy. 

“No, but if you can make sarcastic comebacks, you’re not doing so bad”, Roman said with a small smile, sitting up and watching as another set of shivers wracked Logan’s body. 

“I’m fine”, Logan muttered and Roman rolled his eyes. 

“You’re not. You almost drowned…”, Roman said, frowning as he trailed off. 

“I’m f-f-fine”, Logan said, gritting his teeth to try and stop the shivering. 

“What you need is a hot shower and a towel”, Roman said, before realizing what he said and cringing as Logan’s eyes widened. 

“No water”, Logan said softly and Roman bit his lip, feeling guilty. 

“I won’t make you take a bath and I’ll stand on the other side of the curtain”, Roman said softly, wincing as Logan shivered again, teeth beginning to chatter. 

“No water”, Logan insisted, looking at Roman with half pleading, half glaring eyes. 

“Then you have to sit in front of the heater and dry off”, Roman said, pleased when Logan relented and nodded a little. 

“Okay”, the logical facet said, shuddering as another wave of cold pushed over his body. 

“We’ll use my room since yours will be…harder to get to right now”, Roman said, eyes straying to the broken glass and dark hole where the carpet should be. He could almost hear the waves crashing in the hole. 

Logan nodded and Roman stood up, stretching before bending down and wrapping his arms around Logan’s body, knowing the other wouldn’t be able to walk on his own. He was careful to not touch Logan’s damaged arm as the other was hauled into his arms. Within seconds he was in his original place, slowly sinking into the floor. 

“You’re freezing”, Roman said, torso beginning to disappear. 

“I-I think it was the Pacific this time…M-Mariana t-trench”, Logan said through chattering teeth. 

“That would explain it”, Roman said as Logan’s body vanished and his head ducked into the floor after the logical facet.  
There was silence between the other three before Thomas opened his mouth.

“What…just happened?”, he asked eyes transfixed on Roman’s spot. Virgil blinked, sighing as his head turned to Logan’s spot, glass still littering the carpet. 

“Logan panicked”, Virgil said softly. Thomas seemed stunned by his words. Due to the logical facet’s usual calm and collected air the thought of him being anything but was…unusual, to put it nicely. 

“Is that possible?”, Thomas asked and Patton looked at Virgil worriedly. 

“It is kiddo. But this is the first time we…well, I’ve ever seen it happen to Logan. We’ve faced our fears before, but I’ve never seen Logan face his. Poor kid”, Patton murmured, eyes becoming unfocused as he thought about the recent events.

“I’ve never seen it either, but the Disney Prince Reject must have at some point”, Virgil pointed out and Thomas’ brow furrowed at the thought. 

“You’re right. Do you think this happens every time I think about what’s at the bottom of the ocean?”, Thomas asked, feeling a little guilty. 

“No. If that was the case Patton and Prince would be freaking out every time you thought of spiders or being rejected”, Virgil said with a soft grunt, signaling he found the idea humorous. 

“Creepy crawly death dealers, Virgil”, Patton said in a deceptively calm voice and Virgil rolled his eyes. 

“By any means, go ahead, test out your theory. Maybe Logan is different”, Virgil said, scratching his neck and leaning back on his heels. 

“Well, I wonder what’s at the bottom of the ocean?”, Thomas asked out loud. 

“Stop that!”, Roman yelled, causing the others to start back with shock and fear. Roman looked angry, furious even, and for a moment they were actually scared of the Disney lover. 

“Roman?”, Thomas asked softly, causing the creative facet’s eyes to focus on him, fire blazing in the brown depths. 

“Yes?”, Roman asked, voice like ice. Patton and Thomas flinched at the cold tone. 

“W-what's wrong?”, Thomas asked, feeling a little guilty. 

“You’re making Logan relapse with all your ‘bottom of the ocean’ thoughts. Need I remind you that he almost drowned. Think of something else! He doesn’t need this much pressure right after that traumatic event!”, Roman finished off, yelling and making even Virgil wince at the anger in his voice. 

“Sorry”, Thomas apologized softly. 

“Just…think of something else. He’s upset enough as it is, he doesn’t need your worries to add to his own”, Roman said, slowly sinking back into the floor only to be stopped when Patton spoke up. 

“How is he?”, Patton asked, looking at Roman, the other only having his shoulders and above on show. Roman’s face darkened at the question. 

“He’s…stable”, Roman replied before he vanished, leaving the three to wallow in guilt, worry and concern.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where it all began and the incidents that led up to what happened in the original story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what, I'm back...This is the prequel to the previous story, something that someone requested I do a very long time ago. I hope you like it even if it’s a little short and very late. There’s only a little bit of blood, but that’s been tagged already so...I mean if you have thalassophobia you will not like this and if you have aquaphobia definitely don’t read this.

They’d all been seven when it happened. A trip to the aquarium gone wrong, Roman would say. A nightmare, Logan would say. A non-existent memory, the others would say. But for Roman and Logan it would always be exactly what they deemed it to be. 

It had all started off fairly normal, Thomas was off with his parents and siblings on a trip around the aquarium and the sides were loving it. Patton and Virgil were off in their own little worlds, imagining sharks and sea stars, Roman and Logan were the ones in charge for the day though as it’d been a dream of Logan’s to see the aquarium and Roman had been the one to finally broach the subject and help Thomas let his parents know what he wanted to do. 

So, there they were, enjoying the sights of sharks and jellyfish before a thought popped into Logan’s mind; what’s at the bottom of the ocean? It was a strange thought, but it was completely innocent, so Logan allowed it to be passed to Thomas who finally asked his parents about it. There was a pause and for a second Logan wondered if it was the right thing to ask, then the three words Logan dreaded were thrown back at him – “I don’t know.” But it continued after those three, dread filling Logan little by little – “Nobody knows. It’s a mystery, but perhaps one day you could solve it.”

The encouragement to pursue something worthwhile was nice, but Logan felt his thoughts drifting more and more that day until they entered a room full of jellyfish and the lights went out. Later on they figured out it was a blackout but at the time, after everything Logan had heard from Thomas’ parents and everything he had been thinking of up until then, it truly scared him. The ocean was deep and dark, and probably just like this but colder. Far, far colder than the air in this room, perhaps with a few of those jellyfish with their lights, maybe some fish like them too. 

It wasn’t until Roman shouted that Logan realised the room had flooded with water. His body was seizing up, too fearful to try to swim. His head dropped under, strange lights moving in and out of a darkness that had him almost paralysed. He knew he should swim, at least try to, but nothing was working. His arms weren’t responding, neither were his legs, but a hand on his shoulder pulled him from those depths and a pair of bold brown eyes grounded him in reality once more. A second later he was shivering against his fellow facet, trying not to think about the ocean again as Roman looked down at him with worry and concern in his seven-year-old eyes. 

When Logan was finally able to speak it was stuttered, teeth chattering as the cold began to seep from his body, not nearly as quickly as he’d like but enough that he began to grow warm in Roman’s arms. Logan stopped shivering a few minutes later and turned to look at the creative facet, eyes full of something neither had ever seen on a fellow facet, but it was something Roman recognised from Disney movies. A slight shift from acceptance to wonder, and it was directed at him. He’d seen it displayed on people’s faces before, mostly those saved by princes in Disney movies and books. At that moment Roman fell in love with that expression, fell in love with the idea of being the one to elicit that expression, fell in love with the idea of being a prince. 

Logan, however, lost faith in the ocean, sure he still adored the creatures it housed, but in that moment, he found a new feeling flooding him, something he’d never felt before and hoped he’d never feel again, fear. It would be a few years until he felt it again. 

 

Twelve years old and ready to take on the world, Thomas once again became interested in the ocean. Patton had fallen in love with octopi and all eight of their legs, Virgil was interested in starfishes, Roman was in love with Disney’s adaptation of The Little Mermaid, and Logan was once again ready to fall back in love with the mysteries of the ocean. 

But Logan’s intrigue didn’t last long and soon he found himself once again dreading the deep blue abyss. Thomas had borrowed books from the library, sea life drawings filled the pages but as they dove into the deepest parts of the ocean things became a lot less clear-cut. The creatures decorating the pages were different, weird and strange, scary and darkly twisted. When they came across those Logan was the only one who wanted to re-examine the page, this, however, was merely the first spark to a soon to be wildfire that roared out of control. 

The book explained their habitat, the darkness and deepness that they had to reach in order to see such things. Logan had Thomas turn the page and felt ice sear through his veins. The next page was dedicated to the mysteries, everything unexplored, the deepest parts of the ocean, how deep they were expected to be but no information on what was actually down there, and it terrified Logan. It was more than just the idea that people who were supposed to know everything didn’t actually know everything, it was more than the idea that he’d been lied to about adults knowing everything, it was more than the idea that there could be all manner of things down there. Logan’s fear was more than being at sea with that below him, he later found out that was a lower form of thalassophobia – the fear of the sea or sea travel – or perhaps aquaphobia – a fear of water itself, drowning or dying in it – something he later believed he had thought as a side of someone’s personality he figured it was rather impossible for him to have such a strong and persistent fear even if the others believed they had fears. Regardless, at the tender age of twelve Logan once again experienced his fear and once again was saved by his knight with a shining red sash. 

After the page had been turned Logan noticed how his feet were slowly getting soaked, the sound of water gushing in from the closed doors of the room grew louder and Logan felt the floor disappear from under his feet. All too suddenly he was submerged in sea water, gasping for breath as his head bobbed out of the water. His eyes stung as he searched the slowly filling room for any sort of surface, but everything around him was pure darkness. It was as if someone had turned out every light in the world, pitch black surrounding him on every side as he tried to gauge where he was, then a glow caught his eye and he turned his attention to the sea water around him. Fish, jellyfish and anglers, tiny glowing specks of light moving lazily through the water below him, disappearing deep into the water below. Logan’s heart seized at the sight and he felt everything in him clam up at the sight. He could barely move but something in him found itself and told him what to do. 

“Help”, was all Logan could say, but it was all he needed to say as the room around him became suddenly lighter and a hand grabbed his own just as his head and body dipped under the water. Strong arms wrapped around his shoulders and chest, pulling him onto something dry as the water seemed to recede. Roman cradled Logan carefully, not caring that the cold water was seeping into his outfit because something else much more powerful was tugging at his very being. It was a mixture of fear and relief, happiness and worry, concern and joy. He had no name for it but he was sure Logan would have an answer. He couldn’t even explain how he knew to get to Logan, he knew he’d never know how but something pulled him there, some sort of bond with each other perhaps but then that didn’t explain why the others weren’t there. Roman supposed it would just have to wait for another day because Logan was safe, in his arms and that same look of relief and adoration and wonder was being poured out to him in a form that Roman rarely saw emotion from. 

When at last Logan had calmed enough and Roman was ready to allow him to escape from his arms they found it was nearly night time, but even with that knowledge Roman seemed a little hesitant to allow his fellow side out of sight. It was a few weeks later that Roman finally seemed to calm from the experience, the similar situation to a few years ago prompted him to lose some love for the adapted Hans Christian Anderson tale and thus Thomas’ love for the ocean and that within it waned ever so slightly, but with some distraction from Roman the other sides began to lose interest as well and Thomas returned all his books on the ocean much to Roman’s delight and Logan’s relief. 

 

Once is a chance, twice is coincidence, three times is a pattern. Logan remembered reading that somewhere so when Thomas was sixteen and Logan found himself drowning a third time he figured out that they were words soaked in truth. As part of Thomas’ want to save the environment he’d begun to research marine biology, a little young some supposed, but it was a side project he was willing to take up. Logan had long forgotten about the incidents, though they were more present on Roman’s mind. The pair had been growing apart and Roman had asked Logan to traverse his make-believe world with him in an attempt to keep their friendship as it was without them getting too busy for one another. They’d been walking around for an hour or so before it happened. Thomas read about the bottom of the ocean and its mysteries, Logan stepped into a puddle and Roman turned to find him gone, bubbles slowly popping on the surface of the puddle. 

Logan found himself trapped under glass, water nearly touching it with only six inches between the surface and the glass. He could see nothing but darkness above, the familiar glow from four years ago present under his feet, far below him where the fish swam with grotesque appearances and a hunger for the unknown. Logan took in a gulp of air, sea water splashing into his mouth as he tried to swim this way and that only to have the choppy waves push him under and deeper. His lungs burned for oxygen and finally, a speck of light pierced the darkness above, someone slamming their closed fists against the thick panel that separated Logan from the light. Logan blinked rapidly, trying to stay afloat as he looked into worried eyes, brown pools of never-ending bravery and courage that were at that very moment full of a fear Logan had never seen before. The fists stopped, a few specks of blood dotting the glass as Roman heaved air into his lungs, fatigue setting in as the adrenaline wore off. Then there was a tap, a thud and Roman looked down to see one of Logan’s hands slammed against the glass, a crack travelling across it before it all shattered at once and Roman was sent into the sea with Logan. 

A second later Roman was holding Logan to him, waves washing over both of them as Roman muttered soothing words and thought of somewhere bright and beautiful. The world flashed, colour swirling around them as the water vanished and Roman held on tighter to the shivering side in his arms. Fingers and hands scrabbled for purchase on his sash but finally, they gripped, and Roman’s own fingers dug into the exposed flesh of Logan’s upper arms. He was sure he was clinging on tight enough to bruise but he allowed them to loosen a little as the world settled into a meadow of colourful flowers and warm sunshine. Roman ran a hand through Logan’s soaked hair, teeth grit tightly as Logan relaxed into his grip finally and the adrenaline of having to swim and face his fear for so long wore away, sleep taking over as his shot nerves began to repair themselves once more. Roman tilted his head back and dimmed the sky, sun still shining hot rays but the who world darkened as two of Roman’s emotion duked it out; anger and rage versing his feelings of making sure the quivering body in his arms was well cared for. He decided finally that he no longer wanted to play a prince, he was going to be a prince. The best prince there ever was, and he was going to save Logan from his fears no matter the cost. Roman swallowed, eyes moving slowly from the sky to his fellow facet, after all, Logan had done for Thomas and for him he deserved that. Roman was already playing the prince for the others, why should the resident nerd be any different, but there was a difference there wasn’t there? The difference being that the other’s fears couldn’t hurt them like Logan’s could. They could psychologically damage them, but physically they were fine. Roman pulled Logan even closer and sighed into his drying hair, he just hoped he could keep him safe from those fears that plagued him. 

 

Twenty-two was the next milestone. Another six years had gone by without too much worry and Roman had begun to get back into the grove of things. He knew all too well what could happen, but he was glad to not have to worry too much. How wrong he was. In the space of two days, Logan suffered two more of the exact same incidents, ones that Roman only ever heard about. He was happy that Logan was getting over his fear, facing it by himself, but he still hoped that one day he’d be able to save the nerd once more. 

The incidents, as Logan would henceforth refer to them after they happened, had been related to average chores. The first had been while washing the dishes, Logan had plunged his hand in to grab the plug and found himself shoulder deep in murky blue water that seemed never-ending. He’d left the sink full of water, racing away to his room where he collapsed in a pile of tears and fear, these dimmed slightly when he found his comforter had fallen off his bed and was now but a few inches from him. He’d swaddled himself in the thick material, curling up and shivering at the thought of what could have been down there. 

The second incident happened a few hours later when Logan had calmed himself down and found that time had moved on without him, the next day upon him already though he’d not slept. Logan had gotten up, decided to have a shower rather than a bath and moved into the bathroom. It had been a mistake from the beginning, though he supposed a bath would not have been any better, but what happened next was something out of science fiction. During his shower Logan lost himself in thought, not feeling as the shower flooded, water level creeping up ever so slightly with every passing second until Logan felt his body lift from the tiles and looked down to see the shower’s sides had vanished. In their place four rectangles of glass and a glass bottom had appeared while a constant shower of warm water cascaded from somewhere above Logan. All around the glass prism Logan could see waves frothing, dark peaks twisting and turning as they crashed into his container from over the top. Salty water stung his eyes and he gripped the top of the container-

A knock sounded, and Logan closed his eyes at the sudden harsh sound, when he reopened them he was back in the shower, hands clinging to the top of it as his breathing evened out. He hurriedly turned the shower off and escaped question as he raced to his bedroom. He spent the rest of the day huddled in his room and that was how Roman found him the next morning. Roman swept Logan into a hug, curled up with him and listened to everything he’d suffered through, from the sink to the shower and his new fear of the bath going the same way. Through it all Roman caressed his hair, hushed him when he teared up and felt the guilt of not being there weigh on him. Logan eventually dozed off and Roman felt his heart lighten a little at the soft breaths that Logan exhaled and inhaled, the slow steady pulse of his heart under Roman’s hand, the constant warmth of his body. Roman closed his own eyes, listening to the world still as he matched his breathing with Logan’s. 

When the pair woke up that afternoon Roman vowed to himself in his mind that he would do anything in his power to stop Thomas ever thinking about the ocean ever again. He was able to distract Thomas enough that even when Vine came along and he used the thought in a skit Roman was able to keep Logan afloat and away from those terrible fates. When the time came for Thomas to talk about his fears on camera Roman knew Logan could handle it and played his own up to distract Logan from those fears that still haunted him. 

He knew he couldn’t keep it up forever though and eventually they would catch up to him, to them, to Logan and himself, but until then Roman would cherish those precious moments when Logan wasn’t worrying about the ocean, where he didn’t need to be saved or held or comforted. It was smooth sailing, a set up as perfect as a pearl and pure as beach sand, he supposed his similes could use some work but at least Logan was safe, Thomas wasn’t thinking about the ocean and time was moving on. Then Thomas turned twenty-eight and Logan had a relapse.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looking back on the past hour or so Roman begins to dive into his feelings and if he really should have yelled at the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back because I wanted to make another chapter, school is a bit hectic and I need a break from trying to make the next instalments of Snow White's Iron Ring and The Devil Wears Glasses. Yes, I am working on another chapter for both of those and I know how long it's been but honestly I haven't found much time to work on them and I need a proper few days to work on one chapter so I get all the details right. Hopefully until those things happen this will appease you :)
> 
> Take care and enjoy the chapter, its a tad short with a few long paragraphs but hopefully it isn't too pretentious or silly sounding

In hindsight Roman decided he probably shouldn’t have shouted at the others and his host, but with Logan’s damp hair in his lap and the two of them cocooned in comforters and blankets in front of the heater Roman didn’t really mind. The questions could be answered later when Logan was better and Roman wasn’t as angry at himself for letting the nerd down, for not being there for him. 

The buzzing of the heater dulled as he was whisked into his mind, thoughts clouding and blocking out all else as his eyes strayed from the heater to the head on his legs, strands of somewhat wet hair sticking to his black pants. Distantly he could feel his hand moving to run a piece of plum plumage through his fingers, twisting the strands delicately so as not to wake the one they belonged to. The image of their faces, the fear he had pulled from them stirred a mixture of two differing sides within him; one happy that they finally understood something he’d been keeping under wraps for years now, the other disappointed and sad that he had made them fear him. Princes weren’t meant to be feared, but for the sake of the one who’s head rested in his lap right now, his happiness won out over the guilt. 

Roman came to once more, snapping out of his dazed state enough to pull his hand away and finally take stock of what was around him; buzzing heater, Logan, comforters and blankets that were slowly sliding off them, the gentle hum of the fridge, all round silence from living life forms as it were. Briefly Roman wondered what the others were doing at this moment while he cared for the logical facet, most likely either in their rooms doing their own little things or congregating in the common room with Thomas to discuss what had happened without upsetting the delicate balance of thinking about the ocean and not thinking about the ocean. 

Logan’s face twitched minutely, and Roman’s hand glided gently over the soft plane of his cheek, running up to his hair line and momentarily moving his gaze to the pair of sea water speckled glasses that sat tauntingly atop the counter. He’d have to clean them before Logan got his hands on them, who knew if the dried water would bring up bad memories for the side, Roman wasn’t about to take that chance. 

There was a moment when perhaps Roman would have discussed it with Logan, when he wasn’t afraid of what it could trigger for him or what a single mention of the ocean and its depth could do. Maybe, once long ago, he should have talked it over with Logan after he’d been in one of those situations instead of just standing back and keeping his ever-watchful eye on him. Had he done so they may have been able to avoid all of this, to dissipate Logan’s fears once and for all while they were still young and impressionable, but he’d been too young to realise so he couldn’t really blame anyone for how this turned out. Though thinking back on it he should have confronted Logan properly when they were sixteen, at that age they were thinking at a higher level and he should have been able to see this coming but he didn’t. It was a strange feeling tossing up between hating himself for not thinking of abating Logan’s fears sooner and trying to calm himself in knowing he would have never in a million years have been able to know it would continue and grow as bad as it had. 

Something warm gripped Roman’s hand and he shook his head gently, eyes finding the familiar set of a face so like his own if a little wetter and more weather worn from the cruel treatment of time. The eyes though, they were the kicker, something about them made Roman’s heart stutter, throat drying as he body stilled. Had he not known it was Logan in his lap he may have mistaken those eyes for someone else entirely, full of kindness and warmth, a strange kind of love mixed in that Roman had only seen four other times and only now recognised. The kind of love that had a depth even deeper than the ocean, more far reaching than space, sparkled more than any jewel under the sun and made Roman feel a touch unworthy. Not to say he didn’t believe he deserved the look, but perhaps something more in line with a smile and a nod of acceptance would have been closer to what he expected, what he was receiving was left field, far, far left field. Far as the ends of space left field. 

A second later though Logan’s eyelids drifted down and his hand squeezed Roman’s gently. Conscious mind fading out as sleep took over and finally Logan fell asleep, body relaxing as his breathing steadied and muscles loosened. Roman pulled his hand up, kissing Logan’s knuckles gently before he summoned a soft towel and began to dry Logan’s hair, slowly grooming it back to dryness with the delicacy of a butterfly’s landing. When at last Logan’s hair was dry and the heater had become an overbearing presence, Roman left the towel and comforter on the floor, picked up the unconscious logical facet and walked up the stairs to his bedroom. The door opened of its own accord, something Roman was grateful for as he entered, and it closed gently behind him. 

Roman was swift and light-footed as he moved to his bed, years of practice with footing and dancing making it easy for him to dip and weave between the mess of things that littered the floor from tubes of glue to crumpled papers and fast food wrappers. With all the ease of a practiced dancer and all the strength of someone used to carrying their own weight, he made sure his steps didn’t wake the sleeping trait in his arms, heavens knew he’d kick himself repeatedly if he woke someone who clearly needed the rest. A minute after entering his room Roman finally stood at the side of his bed, eyeing up the white Egyptian cotton sheets and thick gold and red comforter. He dipped slowly under the canopy, mind working as he lay Logan on the bed as gently as possible and set about resituating the sheets and duvet over instead of under the blissfully unaware facet. 

After struggling and a pulling Roman finally freed the sheets and duvet, lifted them over Logan’s still form and realised Logan had not taken off any of his damp clothing. This proved to be a fuel for the fire of embarrassment that Roman was feeling raging in his gut as he moved to the end of the bed and began to removed Logan’s shoes and socks as gently as possible. The facet grunted a little as Roman removed them and finally realised that he could actually just whisk Logan’s clothing away so long as he kept his head clear of other thoughts. Roman tried to picture pyjamas, more specifically something Logan would wear for pyjamas and opened his eyes cautiously to check on what he had summoned. And while it wasn’t quite what he had imagined it would be the long shirt and shorts that now hung off Logan’s sleeping body were something he could see the other wearing. Equations written in white all over navy shorts, the shirt an overly large grey tee with Einstein’s face plastered on it with his tongue stuck out, surely Logan would wear something so related to his interests. 

Roman moved from the bottom of the bed back to the side, unable to stop himself as he ran a few fingers through the logical side’s hair once more. Was he really about to let himself get caught up in Logan once more and forget everything else? Yes, yes, he was. He’d done it before and though now he may have help he was in no way going to let Logan rely solely on the others when it came to his fears. He’d been dealing with Logan’s for so long now and no way was he about to stop when it seemed he was needed most. His own fears where already on display practically twenty-four-seven, and he meant fears. Rejection was not his only fear, not by far, and he’d know that feeling of freezing up anywhere. Now he fully understood why he wanted to be Logan’s prince, to save him, because he knew he couldn’t truly live with himself if something happened to him that Roman could have stopped. Call him silly or even stupid for not realising it sooner, but he truly didn’t want to see Logan downed, the mere thought was enough to send shivers up his spine and cause goose bumps to break out across his skin in fear. Sure, he feared for the others safety, they all did, but having seen what Logan’s fear could do to him and having been there when it first started up made him feel somewhat responsible for Logan’s safety, especially concerning his fear. 

Logan rolled onto his side, facing Roman completely and for the first time in years Roman felt a sudden peace fill him. The soft breathing that filled the room, the stillness of the sleeping figure on his bed, the peace of it all. Roman felt a shiver run down his spine as if something were wrong. Perhaps there was something wrong, perhaps he should move in closer to check on Logan. The compelling sense so move didn’t startle Roman in the slightest as he sat on the edge of the bed and swung his legs onto the mattress and sheets. He kicked his shoes off without a second thought and slid closer, closer until his face was mere inches from the steady breathing facet. The bed shifted ever so slightly as Roman’s clothes morphed into sleeping attire and he slid under the sheets and duvet. The pillows behind his head were as soft as clouds but the thought of sleeping was not at the forefront of Roman’s mind like it may have been for some. Instead he moved and arm forward and over Logan’s waist, gently pulling him closer until he could feel the hotness of Logan’s breath on his shoulder and practically count ever beat of his heart. Logan shifted and for a jolting second Roman worried he’d awoken Logan but soon Logan settled, rolled over and lay still once more. Roman gripped the grey sleeping shirt, hand wringing it tightly before he finally found that long sought after peace and he relaxed into the moment. The canopy above darkened from red to a deep navy that slowly became dotted with white in the most accurate depiction of the night sky Roman could imagine as sleep began to push its deep claws into him. His left arm found its way to the top of the bed, resting over the pillows as the darkness enveloped Roman as sleep finally took him. 

 

Sunlight on his face is what awoke Roman, streaming through red curtains that parted by themselves to allow the light in. Usually Roman would languish in the light, doing his best to pose like the prince he was determined to show the front of never having even a hair out of place, but this morning he glared at the sight and closed the curtains with his mind and a grunt, pulling the warm pillow closer as he world darkened and he nuzzled the almost skin like texture, breathing in the scent of ocean water and his own cologne. The sea water caught Roman a tad off guard, but he assumed he was just dreaming of something to do with the sea and this was most likely residue from such things. He knew he was wrong when the pillow moved, rolled over and gripped his sleep shirt tightly. He almost leapt out of bed in fear, but he stayed still, eyes drifting open once more to look down at the head of the thing that was now gripping the front of his shirt for dear life. Roman was more than a little relieved when he remembered why there was another facet sharing his bed and even more relieved when he found he hadn’t woken Logan with his sudden surge of fear. 

Coming back down for the adrenaline rush Roman felt his lips twitch a little, Logan’s hands unconsciously wound up in his shirt as if he were the only life line Logan had, and for once that made Roman smile. It wasn’t that Logan was close to him it was that he wanted Roman close, that closeness would protect him and keep him safe, he would entrust himself to that closeness and that closeness was Roman. Roman couldn’t think for a second, too caught up in the fact that even if it was unconscious Logan seemed to want Roman to keep him safe, it warmed his heart, brought a smile to his face and made him pull his arm in closer, puling Logan in as a result. 

Then he heard a grunt and had to resist the urge to move as Logan began to shift in his arms, pushing back and blearily blinking his eyes in an owlish fashion. Roman didn’t know in that moment if Logan knew he was awake but less than a second later Logan yawned, rolled over and began to shimmy out of the bed as Roman’s arms were left to hold cold air in his wake. He tried not to let it get to him but he couldn’t ignore the fact Logan was moving around on his own without Roman being there to support him like he had the past few hours. It was when he heard Logan grunt and curse lowly after running into the desk without his glasses that Roman finally snapped out of his daze and began to get out of bed. He didn’t know whether to keep his voice soft or speak loudly so he settled for something on the softer side with enough loudness to let Logan know he was there. 

“Lo, you okay?”, his voice was rough, still a little rusty from sleep but he chose not to clear his throat waiting for Logan to recognise his voice and room. Logan hummed gently, body swaying a little as he yawned and turned to where the voice had come from, Roman could practically see the cogs in his head turning as he tried to work out who had spoken and where they were. Roman sighed and pushed off the bed, feet tracking two lines through the clutter on the floor as he made his way to Logan, making sure his footsteps were fairly loud so as not to startle the logical side. “Lo, I asked if you were okay?”, Roman tried again, reaching a hand out as he neared Logan fully, stopping roughly a foot from him and taking one of Logan’s hands in his own. Logan blinked slowly, eyes unfocused and mind elsewhere. 

Roman tugged Logan’s hand and wrapped his arms around him as the body came crashing into his own gently. Logan seemed so tired still, perhaps he could convince the logical side to take a few more hours off the clock and enjoy some more rest time, though Roman knew how stubborn Logan would be about it in the end. If he could only make Logan see what he saw, make him see the tiredness and weariness on his features, make him see the pain and fear he’d seen on Logan’s face, make him see how he shivered from the freezing cold, the cold that had sunk into his own skin from Logan’s. But he hadn’t the time to show and tell Logan all this, hadn’t the time to do much else but listen as Logan’s breathing grew lighter and he arms draped themselves over Roman’s shoulders. 

“Logan?”, Roman asked, harsh voice a near whisper as he ran the palms of his hands over Logan’s back ever so gently, pressing down a little and cupping the sides of his waist as he hummed gently, completely lost in his own world and untroubled by Roman’s presence. Roman allowed Logan to languish in the warmth of his arms, waited for a second longer before a hiccup sounded and he felt something warm and wet spread to his skin from the front of his shirt, he pulled back gently, not wanting to alarm the logical facet and watched as red eyes focused in on his face, droplets springing from the corners of tearful eyes only now recollecting what had happened yesterday. In a second Roman was squeezing Logan closer than before, hushing him as nails clawed gently at his skin before they moved to the back of his head and Roman had to bite his lip as they dug in harshly. Roman took a step back, then another, carrying Logan with him until the back of his legs hit the bed and he bent back. His back hit the bed first, then his head and finally he drew his legs up while cradling Logan to his chest as if he were a babe. 

When at last the crying had ended and Roman felt as if the steadiness of Logan’s breath was a good indicator for how he was feeling he summoned some tissues and gently handed Logan a few watching as his hands quickly grabbed them with a choked ‘thank you’ before he blew his nose and wiped his cheeks dry. The pair sat up Roman’s left foot coming closer as he grasped the kneecap in a white-knuckled grip and watched as Logan knelt on his knees a few feet away from him still dabbing at his eyes and no doubt irritating them even more. It was out of the strange bond they felt that Roman pulled the tissues away and gently held Logan’s face in his hands, kissing each eye before rubbing the soft pad of his thumb over where the tear tracks had once been. His legs framed Logan’s body as he drew the logical side in once more, resting the near identical head on his shoulder before he summoned the courage to finally say something. 

“How’re you feeling now?”, was all he could really manage after he felt like his heart had been shattered near a million times over. 

Logan hummed a single time, voice sounding as wrecked as he looked, “better.”

Roman huffed out a laugh, carding his right hand through Logan’s dishevelled hair before he muffled a sigh of relief into Logan’s shoulder. Now he was finally talking Roman’s thoughts quelled themselves, the terrible swirling whirlpool of worry and fright dissipated as he finally heard a voice other than the ones in his head. It was a strange bond they had indeed, one that came from him saving Logan from his fears and in turn Logan saving him from his own mind, but the bond was something so unique and special that Roman wouldn’t have traded it for the world. 

“Where are my glasses?”, Roman let out a quiet chuckle at that, even in his situation Logan found time to ask for his glasses instead of enjoying the moment. How logical of him.


End file.
